Just out of curiosity and frustration… Are there any Daddies who do have actually control of their own lives, their emotions, and have stability in their established relationships?
I know complete utter control every second of every day is impossible, but… I’m starting to lose faith that true Daddies and true Doms even exist, and it saddens me.
This is gonna be a non-politic statement, so to all ranters: “get out your knives and axes”.
But some people revert to kink because it gives them a sense of accomplishment while they do not have their own life in control (and to all ranters now sharpening their knives and axes: it happened to me).
On the other hand a lot (A LOT!) of so called ‘normal’ people do NOT have their lives in their hands.. for it IS kinda hard to keep your life in your hands (as a addiction therapist I’ve seen it happen) for there are SO MANY axes that need to be balanced next to each other almost everyone needs a hand now-and-then.
Then there are some subs who love to be under control, not only for fun or sexual quality of life but because they are not able to keep their own lives under control without guidance…. but they do when controlled. (these observations added to the belief that kink is a mental sickness… instead of a way to improve the quality of life -not just in a sexual way-)
Then there are Doms who are able to keep their lives in check because they are given this role of Dominant or Daddy and that role gives ’em some extra oumpf as to have someone ‘dependent’ on them, adding strength to their personality.
Having said that, I would get rid of the word true (or real as far as that is concerned), continue to practice to get your life in order as imperfect as you are and find someone that helps you. Maybe by having his life in check.. maybe by doing the balancing act together, both of you being equal in the responsibility, accountability for yourself and openness in talking about needs and wants (and nice-to-haves) and being different in roles. That tends to balance better then resentment (but I DO advice to keep your eyes open whenever you meet a fresh Daddy)… And by the way, it saddens a lot of us along the way… the fantasy is SO sumptuous… so frustration is bound to happen as a feeling.
But I do like to think that there’s a “good-enough-Daddy” out there somewhere, for you if you keep up. It might take time if you look for something good (quality takes time).
So: happy hunting for that Dom or Daddy that suits you and who does in fact have enough self control and (self)knowledge to give you what you need. 🙂