Hissing behind her back or expecting her to do the next step

Etiquette (for men)

Well, guys, let me be frank. If I see a rubber clad or leather cuffed girl I am getting all kind of urges. But the thing is: these ar MY urges. Sometimes on adult parties I hear from the ladies that they were groped outside the darkroom, that men were hissing behind her back instead of having the balls to go to a woman and stating clearly what they want and why and face the possibility of getting a “no” and take that.

The thing is: on adult parties the women dare to be sexy because it is safe to be sexy. Hey, it takes a lot of work and money to look that beautiful. Let’s appreciate that. Let’s honor that. Even if our fantasies might be about degrading sex and their fantasies are too: lets respect it and enjoy it in an atmosphere of safety!

And the men that are hissing remarks about their own fantasies instead of talking about it frankly, let’s ask them to just stop that. For they are blowing our chances on enjoying feminine beauty.

Guys, if you want to have romantic sex or abusive sex with a girl without having the balls to ask for it, you make these brave women uncertain about displaying their sexiness.

So let us grow some balls. Let’s not only NOT hiss or uninvitedly invade their space and let’s confront men who do (surely on parties but also maybe even in the streets). Let’s have the sheer guts to enjoy their beauty without expecting the realization of our own fantasies. Let’s not force our fantasies upon them but let’s have the bravery to ask and the guts to tell ’em why. Let’s own our fantasies.

It’s much braver to go to a woman and say: “you look so beautiful that I am getting all kind of fantasies about violating you in all the ways I can imagine, could I have the sheer luck that you are into one of those too?” …MUCH braver than hissing: “if you dress like that you must be wanting men to rape you in all holes”.

If we do appreciate girls who have the fucking guts to be openly sexy, we got to tell the asswipes to fucking behave.

Words like “hey man, I like to look at a sexy woman too. But if you behave like that you certainly will discourage her” or words like “hey man, you’d get more pussy if you’d know how to respect a lady” could help us males to enjoy and respect -not expect- femininity in our parties and in our streets.


If you’d like to contact me, go to the Contact-page
If you’d like to react privately:

If you’d like to react publicly leave a reply

Published by KinkindeRelatie

A Kink Aware and openminded (relationship) coach. That does not mean you have to talk about kink, but at least here you don't have to be silent about it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: