Sexuality
Question:
Why am I a kinkster? Why have I developed this kink?Why do I like ageplay, do I like to be hit, do like to hit?.. What happened in my life that I love more than one, that I love latex, leather, diapers, different sex?
Answer:
It is a question often posed by kinkster – especially in the beginning of their self-acceptance).
Why am I kinky? Why the question?
It is interesting to me why we are trying to find a ’cause’ for our ‘kink’ while we are not searching for the uncanny reasons why people would be into missionary vanilla sex only in the dark…
I am not saying that there never are ‘reasons’. Sometimes a kink is a really creative way to cope with early abuse atmosphere or – trauma. But even then I do not think this is always “the reason”. Other people with the same trauma often react 180 degrees differently.
So I could pose other questions like -for instance- “Why does this kink of yours felt so good to you, so early in life that it developed into this (your!) adult kink? Why is this kink appealing to you, and not another? Was there something before already?
There are so many whys! But why should you?
You do feel what you feel. Your body does react to things that it reacts to…
I am not saying that you don’t have a saying in this. You do not have to live out all your kinks. You could choose to try and see if some of it vaporizes if you do nothing with the fantasy, or that it this is a thing that could be fulfilled because you do.
But why are we searching so hard to find reasons for our different likings?
One might even say that this search for ‘reasons’ could be seen as an internalized cultural repression of the “otherness” a cultural case of normopathy, even? 😉
From WHY to WHAT
By the way: research seems to suggest that the search for “why?” in general does not add much to personal happiness in life… A search for “what?” however (what makes me a satisfied and happy person in kink and next to my kink) seems to be a way more worthwhile to spend your thoughts on.
(oh, and I have been searching for years for ‘reasons’ for my kinks as well… and I even found a few… Didn’t add much clarity nor quality of life)
Normopathy
Have fun with your kink and your fellow kinksters
Hans
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