Relating and your Brainstem

Relating in Relationships (Post-Valentine Thoughts) If we understand our brain stem as an important function in our information processing, that helps to make wiser choices for our relationships. In the ‘polyvagal theory’, things are clearer to understand. If we truly understand our -lower, more animalistic- information-processing level, we can understand how we will see the

The Meantime Parties ’23-’24

Sometimes people ask me when the all-gender Meantime parties are. So here is the long-term plan(!). Of course, we reserve the right to be fickle. So no rights can be derived from this post 😀

Gadhā Armour Release

cultural appropriation I am an experienced Gadhā Release Therapist  The Gadhā Release Therapy (G.R.T.)Because of the energetic properties of the fingers, we can only find a superficial release by using the hand. So using the lingam is advised to produce a more deepened and profound repeated release of energy and a deeply experienced emotional release of

Monkeypox and Sexparties

Monkeypox and Sexparties update July’22 Monkeypox is a disease from a virus that isn’t really airborne but gets (most likely) spread by rubbing skin to skin, or by infected skin cells that still lay around somewhere after they were rubbed off the tiny scabs from former lesions. So if we meet our friends at Pride…

Policies around abuse in parties

I got a Question lately:Dear Hans,I’m X, I’m organizing XXX. We recently received a report for the first time about abuse (inside/outside) our party. That is why we are asking various organizers about their policies. Someone told me that you were very helpful to them.Do you have any tips or information that we can use

Kinky Talks: talking about HIV (not ‘just a gay thing’)

Sexuality Answer:It is important to talk about STDs and not think of HIV as ‘just a gay thing’. I do think that the information from Kinky Talk #27 is important for every kinkster, male and female alike. In this talk we had several HIV+ guests that talked openly and shared tips. Like: Know your status

“SEX unzipped” for you and your children

Netflix and Chill Answer:SEX: Unzipped is described as a ‘Comedy’. But I think it’s actually much more than that. As far as I am concerned this is Sex Education V3.0, given by the rap star Saweetie, assisted by several stand-ups who also dare to speak out about their sexuality and their sexual doubts… by a

I can’t go to a Kinky Club with THIS body!!!

Fetish Question:Let’s be clear. For a lot of people, it is a really healing experience to go out to a kinky club or a fetish club for a night of debauchery and fun. Where people like you would have enjoyed your (MFX) ‘dad-bod’ tummy, your kind smile, your hands, your long skinny legs and your

Kinky Talks: The Psychology of kinks

Sexuality/BDSM/Fetish Question: What does psychotherapy have to do with BDSM? We aren’t sick right? Answer: Right! Still I think it was really really interesting to listen to Karina Kehlet Lins, an international clinical psychologist, systemic psychotherapist, sex therapist, university lecturer and author of several books. Karina gave a presentation in our 25th Kinky Talk that

Letting my fetishist partner experiment if I won’t join the fetish action anymore?

Sexuality/Fetish Question:Do I have to let my fetishist partner experiment if I won’t join the fetish action anymore? Will I otherwise lose him to kink/fetish secrets? How do I know how strong it is in him? Is the urge stronger than love?Answer:That is debatable… a debate that should be held, I guess… For only time