I’d like to talk personally …

Shizzle

Question:
I’d like to sit down and talk about my shizzle personally with someone knowledgeable and experienced.
Answer:
You can… From all over the world. Just make an appointment 🙂

Your choices

“SEX unzipped” for you and your children

Netflix and Chill

Answer:
SEX: Unzipped is described as a ‘Comedy’. But I think it’s actually much more than that. As far as I am concerned this is Sex Education V3.0, given by the rap star Saweetie, assisted by several stand-ups who also dare to speak out about their sexuality and their sexual doubts… by a number of sexologists who also provide sound information, sound explanation and practical tips. And she is mainly assisted by a couple of blissfully unrestrained dolls.

I can’t go to a Kinky Club with THIS body!!!

Fetish

Gotta love Rihanna

Question:
Let’s be clear. For a lot of people, it is a really healing experience to go out to a kinky club or a fetish club for a night of debauchery and fun. Where people like you would have enjoyed your (MFX) ‘dad-bod’ tummy, your kind smile, your hands, your long skinny legs and your cute small titties, your nice and round ass or your voluptuous boobies, your long flowing hair or stormtrooper crew-cut… Why can we not go to a kinky party with mostly warm and welcoming people that most likely have dealt themselves with forms of rejection?

Kinky Talks: The Psychology of kinks

Sexuality/BDSM/Fetish

Karina Kehlet Lins

Question:
What does psychotherapy have to do with BDSM? We aren’t sick right?
Answer:
Right!

Still I think it was really really interesting to listen to Karina Kehlet Lins, an international clinical psychologist, systemic psychotherapist, sex therapist, university lecturer and author of several books. Karina gave a presentation in our 25th Kinky Talk that I think is worth listening to.

Letting my fetishist partner experiment if I won’t join the fetish action anymore?

Sexuality/Fetish

Question:
Do I have to let my fetishist partner experiment if I won’t join the fetish action anymore? Will I otherwise lose him to kink/fetish secrets? How do I know how strong it is in him? Is the urge stronger than love?
Answer:
That is debatable… a debate that should be held, I guess… For only time will tell… Or better said: You will tell each other in time in your relationship

Negotation or agreement? (in BDSM or swinging)

Sexuality/BDSM

Question:
I hear about negotiation all the time. What should I negotiate and what should I get from these negotiations? And how do I prevent us from talking fun to death?
Answer:
Personally, I am not too fond of the use of the word “negotiation” in relationships and (BDSM)play situations. It is very often promoted as the good thing to do before any play, it is the politically correct thing to do… even though a lot of people don’t.

Kinky Talk Chemsex treatment? -03b-

Sexuality/Drugs

In our Kinky Talks (nr. 24) too we did talk about different aspects of “chemsex”?
It might double-up the texts here and there but the Powerpoint might be an addition to the previous posts.

Chemsex

What goes wrong in Chemsex treatments? -03-

Sexuality/Drugs

Let’s talk about the ‘drug’-aspects of “chemsex” problems?
Not so much the “what and how” -that is food for other posts- but more the “why?”

What goes wrong in Chemsex treatments? -02-

Sexuality/Drugs

Let’s talk about the ‘botttom’-aspects of “chemsex” problems? About our ideas of what should be possible and our self image.
Let’s have a bit of a look at porn. And how to enjoy it better.

What goes wrong in Chemsex treatments? -01-

Sexuality/Drugs

Question:
Hans, what things do you think are important when we talk about treatment for “chemsex” problems?
Answer:
Quite a topic, that deserves way more attention than it gets (in my view). Because the ‘closed-minded’ approach that I often see around me gives (in my opinion) rather violent unwanted results.

Relationship drama due to Gottman’s “Four Horsemen”

General

Question:
Hans, I heard about the four horsemen in relationships… What is that?
Answer:
Dr. John Gottman’s “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse” are 4 ways of interacting between partners that cause a lot of relationship drama if this happens regularly. They are: Criticism, Defensiveness, Contempt and Stonewalling.
While most relationships will have some of these, healthy relationships don’t use them often and do more to repair them when they were accidentally used.