Blog

I’d like to talk personally …

Shizzle

Question:
I’d like to sit down and talk about my shizzle personally with someone knowledgeable and experienced.
Answer:
You can… 🙂

Read on: Continue reading I’d like to talk personally …

But… What about love in BDSM?

BDSM

If we talk about a “triangle of love” in the BDSM-scene, most people think of a threesome, or of bondage-patterns over naked skin. Understandable but it kinda adds to the view that “those BDSM-kinda-people are not really capable of love” (Yes I know some relationship therapists still have this outdated view, even tho there is no scientific evidence to back that up… au contraire by the way!).
So I thought it a good idea to talk a bit about love in BDSM-relationships.

Continue reading But… What about love in BDSM?

I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?

Victor Cobo - a Mouth in a Glory hole-

BDSM

Question:

on Being a Dom(me)

Victor Cobo - a Mouth in a Glory hole-
Victor Cobo – a Mouth in a Glory hole-

Hi Hans,
I want a slavegirl who does what I say. How do I find a woman to submit to my every whim? And I want to give her to friends to fuck and shit.
But what if she does not want to what I want, what are my rights as a Dominant?
Answer:
Ooookay… First to be said: I have exactly the same fantasy. So no judgement here about your fantasies. And I do really hope that you’ll get to live your fantasies and I write this answer to help you get there.
But… there is a small thing that often stands between us and our fantasies and often that is a word that starts with an “r” (and ends with “eality”) 😉
Continue reading I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?

Terminal-F.com (who’s your favorite?)

Fetish

So if you are just a tiny bit like me you do not really mind to see beautiful women clad in latex and leather and lace. Great chance!
In alphabetical order the six European topmodels Kay Morgan, Lotte Groeneweg, MadMoiselle Peachy, Psylocke, Sister Sinister, Starfucked teamed up to create www.Terminal-F.com.

Continue reading Terminal-F.com (who’s your favorite?)

Negotation or agreement (in BDSM or kink-play)

BDSM & Swinging

Question:

kinkawarecoach_negotiation-or-agreementI hear about negotiation all the time. What should I negotiate and what should I get from these negotiations? And how do I prevent us from talking the fun to death?

Answer:
Personally, I am not too fond of the use of the word “negotiation” in relationships and (BDSM)play situations. It is very often promoted as the good thing to do before any play, it is the political correct thing to do… even though a lot of people don’t.
Continue reading Negotation or agreement (in BDSM or kink-play)

More about “sexual polarities”… (9 questions)

Consider your sexual polarities

Question:

kinkawarecoach_elizabeth-de-bold-com-ballet-balance
I’ve talked about the sexual polarities before (see here*). People liked a little more explanation with this so: this time a post with a little bit more text for you to be able to get a better feel for the options in play.

Of course these are just very crude polarities, for every axis of BDSM has it’s own paradoxical aspects. I’d love to submit to you and be degraded by you but I’d totally want to be respected in doing so. I’d like to smack you and perhaps even see you cry because I really care for you and your masochism. I really want to be shackled and bound so that I won’t have any possibilities to withstand those evil sexual kicks of my partner and I am left really no other choice but enjoying them immensely 🙂
Continue reading More about “sexual polarities”… (9 questions)

Bondage tips (The Tao of the Rope)

BDSM

Question:

kinkawarecoach_bondage-cvHans, I’d like to start with bondage… Could you give me a hand?
Answer:
Well… apart from giving a hand I’d better give you some safetytips and a series of youtu.be’s so you can start yourself and follow the leads Youtube gives to start surfing. I am not a ‘bondagemaster’ myself but I would like people to play safely so I can give you at least an idea and a direction to surf. And of course these leads are completely arbitrary and if you have tips for great additions: let me know.


My personal bondage tips are (the Tao of the Rope): Continue reading Bondage tips (The Tao of the Rope)

8 okt’16 – Europerve party – 30th birthday

Party

Europerve 30th Birthday

kinkinfo_europerve

Europerve is one of the first real fetish (rubber/latex) parties in the world. It has been quiet for many a year but it is alive and kicking again for the 5rd resurrection in a row.
It is not so much a sex-party -even tho sexyness is all around of course- it is a party for rubber-/latex lovers that like to dress up in layer upon layer upon layer 🙂
Continue reading 8 okt’16 – Europerve party – 30th birthday

Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship

Consider your sexual polarities

Question:

kinkawarecoach_elizabeth-de-bold-com-ballet-balance
I’d like to understand the kicks of my partner… / I’d like to come out of the closet to my partner… / I’d like to converse about my kicks…
…but I don’t know where to start.
Answer:
If you see certain aspects of sexuality in their polarity you could use that as a good start for conversations such as the ones mentioned in the ‘question’.
Continue reading Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship

8/10/16 – Kink in de Relatie (problems and fun) #BeyondBinary

Beyond the Binary Day 2016 – Kink in Relation (.nl)

west-coaching_beyondthebinary Saturday October 8 from 11:30 to 12:45
St. Anthony Place 1, 6511 TR Nijmegen, Netherlands

A lecture on ‘Kink in Relationships” and what that means for the relationship.
Of course I am speaking with the bias of a coach, so I am seeing more of the problematic situations in my practice. But lets talk about ways to make kink fun (and tackling the difficulties can help there of course) 😉 Continue reading 8/10/16 – Kink in de Relatie (problems and fun) #BeyondBinary

What’s in my oh so Domly first Aid kit? (apart from chocolate)

NurseYes, I would advice anyone that is into a bit of heavier play to have a redcross (or lighter version) of first aid knowledge. No really, how hard is that and it could save lives.
Also you could (next to this lighthearted version) have a serious look at a home-family First Aid-kit


Now what could ( I am not saying “should” ’cause I know your allergic reactions to that word) be in your private Kit? Continue reading What’s in my oh so Domly first Aid kit? (apart from chocolate)