I’d like to talk personally …


I’d like to sit down and talk about my shizzle personally with someone knowledgeable and experienced.
You can… From all over the world. Just make an appointment 🙂

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Relating and your Brainstem

Relating in Relationships (Post-Valentine Thoughts)

If we understand our brain stem as an important function in our information processing, that helps to make wiser choices for our relationships. In the ‘polyvagal theory’, things are clearer to understand. If we truly understand our -lower, more animalistic- information-processing level, we can understand how we will see the world as a reptilian, sometimes.
Are we being fed? Are we being followed? Are we really angry, or just afraid? Is this world safe enough for me?
If we recognise these purely evolutionary steps, it helps us evaluate the world around us wiser. Even more, it might be important to understand how these reactions block our rational evaluations and our relational capabilities altogether.

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The Meantime Parties ’23-’24

Sometimes people ask me when the all-gender Meantime parties are.

So here is the long-term plan(!). Of course, we reserve the right to be fickle. So no rights can be derived from this post 😀

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Gadhā Armour Release

cultural appropriation

I am an experienced Gadhā Release Therapist 

The Gadhā Release Therapy (G.R.T.)
Because of the energetic properties of the fingers, we can only find a superficial release by using the hand. So using the lingam is advised to produce a more deepened and profound repeated release of energy and a deeply experienced emotional release of the root chakra armour.
Sometimes a therapeutic helper needs to acquire fluidity and smoothness by releasing the nectar of the Galā by repeated exploration of the deep Galā, as to create more of a sweet acceptance of the energy massage stick to release that Gadhā armour…
unless, of course, if you are more into painal.

If you happened to stop reading this because you hate that cultural appropriation bullshit? That is exactly what I meant to say!

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Monkeypox and Sexparties

Monkeypox and Sexparties update July’22
Monkeypox virus.

Monkeypox is a disease from a virus that isn’t really airborne but gets (most likely) spread by rubbing skin to skin, or by infected skin cells that still lay around somewhere after they were rubbed off the tiny scabs from former lesions.

So if we meet our friends at Pride… P.L.E.A.S.E be responsible and don’t infect others!

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Policies around abuse in parties

I got a Question lately:
Dear Hans,
I’m X, I’m organizing XXX. We recently received a report for the first time about abuse (inside/outside) our party. That is why we are asking various organizers about their policies. Someone told me that you were very helpful to them.

Do you have any tips or information that we can use now that we are drafting our policy?
Sincerely, X

And I hope that others will benefit if I repeat that answer here:

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Kinky Talks: talking about HIV (not ‘just a gay thing’)


Kinky Talks # 27

It is important to talk about STDs and not think of HIV as ‘just a gay thing’. I do think that the information from Kinky Talk #27 is important for every kinkster, male and female alike.

In this talk we had several HIV+ guests that talked openly and shared tips. Like:

Know your status

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“SEX unzipped” for you and your children

Netflix and Chill

SEX: Unzipped is described as a ‘Comedy’. But I think it’s actually much more than that. As far as I am concerned this is Sex Education V3.0, given by the rap star Saweetie, assisted by several stand-ups who also dare to speak out about their sexuality and their sexual doubts… by a number of sexologists who also provide sound information, sound explanation and practical tips. And she is mainly assisted by a couple of blissfully unrestrained dolls.

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I can’t go to a Kinky Club with THIS body!!!


Gotta love Rihanna

Let’s be clear. For a lot of people, it is a really healing experience to go out to a kinky club or a fetish club for a night of debauchery and fun. Where people like you would have enjoyed your (MFX) ‘dad-bod’ tummy, your kind smile, your hands, your long skinny legs and your cute small titties, your nice and round ass or your voluptuous boobies, your long flowing hair or stormtrooper crew-cut… Why can we not go to a kinky party with mostly warm and welcoming people that most likely have dealt themselves with forms of rejection?

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Kinky Talks: The Psychology of kinks


Karina Kehlet Lins

What does psychotherapy have to do with BDSM? We aren’t sick right?

Still I think it was really really interesting to listen to Karina Kehlet Lins, an international clinical psychologist, systemic psychotherapist, sex therapist, university lecturer and author of several books. Karina gave a presentation in our 25th Kinky Talk that I think is worth listening to.

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Letting my fetishist partner experiment if I won’t join the fetish action anymore?


Do I have to let my fetishist partner experiment if I won’t join the fetish action anymore? Will I otherwise lose him to kink/fetish secrets? How do I know how strong it is in him? Is the urge stronger than love?
That is debatable… a debate that should be held, I guess… For only time will tell… Or better said: You will tell each other in time in your relationship

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