Chemsex: addiction & dependence

Sexuality Question: I hear you help people that are having problems with chemsex? Could you say more about that, please? Answer: Sure! have talked about the subject before on our ‘Kinky Talks’ (English) that I do with our fab Adalberto. We’ve talked about it in our ‘Tabootalks’ (Dutch). And I’ll talk about it on SundayContinue reading “Chemsex: addiction & dependence”

HEUTE (an art project with a cause)

Sexuality/BDSM/Fetish HEUTE enters the world disguised as PORNO STORE, a faux multimedia sex shop located in imaginary cyberspace. PORNO STORE exists only to start conversations about sex and sex workers in mind-opening ways. PORNO STORE delves into the cyber-reality of sex working in times of Covid-19, SESTA, and FOSTA while opening discussions on how to protectContinue reading “HEUTE (an art project with a cause)”

Having difficult conversations… (incl. the 5% rule)

(Relationship) conversations Having difficult talks with a positive outcome… Not an easy feature.I often give the following list to people who have to have difficult conversations in a relationship under pressure (a love relationship, a working relationship, a friendship relationship or a therapy relationship).This list is therefore also useful for coaches / therapists (not onlyContinue reading “Having difficult conversations… (incl. the 5% rule)”

Female sex and the duality within BDSM

Sexuality/BDSM Why BDSM?In a society where on the one hand we try to sell everything with sex and on the other hand, we try to deny our sexuality, especially the female sexuality, it is not really surprising that reading material such as “fifty shades” gets so popular so suddenly. Materialism (real Dominants have their ownContinue reading “Female sex and the duality within BDSM”

A post about Sub frenzy that is appreciated best afterward

BDSM Question: What do those beginning subbies think when they enter the scene and deliver themselves hands tied, with health and heart and soul to this Dom(me) they really know nothing about. Answer: Actually, they don’t… Subfrenzy is sooo sexy. It is so cute to look at and it’s so devastating, sometimes. Subfrenzy is theContinue reading “A post about Sub frenzy that is appreciated best afterward”

Healing aspects in BDSM

Sexuality/BDSM/Kink Question: Lately, I am on the interested in healing elements in BDSM. So I am interested in (online) conversations with people that are into BDSM and also have diagnoses like (C)PTSD, depression, autism, AD(H)D etc.etc. (No, I am not interested in the dirty details, NO, I don’t think that ‘BDSM-therapy’ is a good thing.Continue reading “Healing aspects in BDSM”

The “BDSM is therapeutic”-discussion

BDSM/Kink Question: Do you think that bdsm can help through difficult emotional times in your life? How can it help me emotionally? Answer: Questions like this always spark the discussion “is BDSM therapeutic?” and “Could there be BDSM-therapy?” Even tho a lot of laymen would want to stand in the shadow of good old Freud,Continue reading “The “BDSM is therapeutic”-discussion”

Question: A real dominant doesn’t fuck on first dates, right?

BDSM/Dating Question: Some dude is messaging me about meeting me and wanting to get laid. I told him a real dominant doesn’t jump right into bed with someone first meet. Now he’s complaining it’s a bit of a train journey “just for a drink”. Is this in my head or am I right? Answer: oh…Continue reading “Question: A real dominant doesn’t fuck on first dates, right?”

How to get your Self out of the Binge-and-Purge Cycle?

General Question: How can I get myself out of this binging purging cycle where I indulge in my fetish and have a blast. But during my purging, I really reject this side of my personality and throw away all of my gear. How can I prevent the purges or the binging? Answer: Binging and PurgingContinue reading “How to get your Self out of the Binge-and-Purge Cycle?”