Question: A real dominant doesn’t fuck on first dates, right?

BDSM/Dating

Question:
Some dude is messaging me about meeting me and wanting to get laid. I told him a real dominant doesn’t jump right into bed with someone first meet. Now he’s complaining it’s a bit of a train journey “just for a drink”. Is this in my head or am I right?
Answer:
oh… first… I really do think your “a real dominant does… (or does not)” is a bit of a misconception.

Advertisements

The #MeToo and #BalanceTonCochon hashtags and what we can learn from kinky men

following the #MeToo hashtag

Alyssa Milano

Alyssa Milano’s #MeToo action shows how many women have experienced sexual transgressions in their life. And no, that’s not just a little whistling on the street. And no, that’s not innocent because that insecurity does things with a mind.
If we dare to look, we’ll see that it is normal that more women have experienced this than not … what does that mean to the women with which we live together? What does it mean for their courage to be sexually daring in this society? Their freedom to enjoy sex…And what does this all mean to us as men? What can we learn from the men who embraced kinky sex?

The power of the submissive, the need of the Dom(me)

BDSM

Question:

Hans, how come that i can feel so strong after I have been submitting myself to my Dom? I don’t understand the dynamic between me, a victim of his Lust. So why do I feel strong instead of weak? What is my strength as a victim?
Answer:
‘Victims’ actually have a lot of power. Just watch the TV. Nowadays the ‘victim’ actually has a lot of power in the media. A lot of discussions on fetlife are about people who got victimised in a BDSM-relationship. And that raises shit-storms, sometimes without knowing what really happened. It happens, for shure (and don’t let that happen to you). And Dom(me)s get abused too, or depleted of energy. And often the one presenting like a victim gets the most attention… Often correct… sometimes it’s just the power of a victim.

I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?

BDSM

Question:

on Being a Dom(me)

Victor Cobo – a Mouth in a Glory hole-

Hi Hans,
I want a slavegirl who does what I say. How do I find a woman to submit to my every whim? And I want to give her to friends to fuck and shit.
But what if she does not want to what I want, what are my rights as a Dominant?
Answer:
Ooookay… First to be said: I have exactly the same fantasy. So no judgement here about your fantasies. And I do really hope that you’ll get to live your fantasies and I write this answer to help you get there.
But… there is a small thing that often stands between us and our fantasies and often that is a word that starts with an “r” (and ends with “eality”) 😉