Negotation or agreement? (in BDSM or swinging)

Sexuality/BDSM Question:I hear about negotiation all the time. What should I negotiate and what should I get from these negotiations? And how do I prevent us from talking fun to death?Answer:Personally, I am not too fond of the use of the word “negotiation” in relationships and (BDSM)play situations. It is very often promoted as theContinue reading “Negotation or agreement? (in BDSM or swinging)”

Question: A real dominant doesn’t fuck on first dates, right?

BDSM/Dating Question: Some dude is messaging me about meeting me and wanting to get laid. I told him a real dominant doesn’t jump right into bed with someone first meet. Now he’s complaining it’s a bit of a train journey “just for a drink”. Is this in my head or am I right? Answer: oh…Continue reading “Question: A real dominant doesn’t fuck on first dates, right?”

The #MeToo and #BalanceTonCochon hashtags and what we can learn from kinky men

following the #MeToo hashtag Alyssa Milano’s #MeToo action shows how many women have experienced sexual transgressions in their life. And no, that’s not just a little whistling on the street. And no, that’s not innocent because that insecurity does things with a mind. If we dare to look, we’ll see that it is normal that more women haveContinue reading “The #MeToo and #BalanceTonCochon hashtags and what we can learn from kinky men”

The power of the submissive, the need of the Dom(me)

BDSM Question: Hans, how come that i can feel so strong after I have been submitting myself to my Dom? I don’t understand the dynamic between me, a victim of his Lust. So why do I feel strong instead of weak? What is my strength as a victim? Answer: ‘Victims’ actually have a lot ofContinue reading “The power of the submissive, the need of the Dom(me)”

I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?

BDSM Question: on Being a Dom(me) Hi Hans, I want a slavegirl who does what I say. How do I find a woman to submit to my every whim? And I want to give her to friends to fuck and shit. But what if she does not want to what I want, what are myContinue reading “I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?”