A post about Sub frenzy that is appreciated best afterward

BDSM

Question:

What do those beginning subbies think when they enter the scene and deliver themselves hands tied, with health and heart and soul to this Dom(me) they really know nothing about.

Answer:
Actually, they don’t…
Subfrenzy is sooo sexy. It is so cute to look at and it’s so devastating, sometimes.
Subfrenzy is the frenzy on which new subbies dive into the hands of un-checked men and women, dive headfirst into the experience of sex with BDSM and want to check off everything that can be done in BDSM in a month (which does make a really busy month -without much processing time-)
Continue reading A post about Sub frenzy that is appreciated best afterward

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Healing aspects in BDSM

Sexuality/BDSM/Kink

Question:

Lately, I am on the interested in healing elements in BDSM. So I am interested in (online) conversations with people that are into BDSM and also have diagnoses like (C)PTSD, depression, autism, AD(H)D etc.etc.
(No, I am not interested in the dirty details, NO, I don’t think that BDSM-therapy is a good thing. YES I do think BDSM can be healing and I’d like to show professionals the ways in which it could be healing)
No, I am not that interested in “meanings” and “I think that’s”, I’d like to hear from people who experienced the reality of things, how did it work out in your life? What worked? What did
not work?

Could I interest you into thinking about the ways that BDSM can be healing -if you do it right with the right partners-.
(and if you have diagnoses like these and you think that BDSM has nothing to do with it… please let me know too).

So, feel free read this and add your own experience to this. Mind you, this is an early start, a discussion-starter rather than a “fixed & fertig” line of reasoning. So it has a messy layout and it is just meant to get you thinking (and reacting)

I do think that as a therapist/coach we could sometimes refer more to things that happen in sex and the things they experience in their scenes people play at home, or at parties.

But then we need to think about those healing factors in BDSM/Kink beforehand as to create the most healing life-experiences. Possibilities a kinkster maybe could have that most vanillas won’t have.

Continue reading Healing aspects in BDSM

How to get your Self out of the Binge-and-Purge Cycle?

General

http://sarahhaney.comQuestion:
How can I get myself out of this binging purging cycle where I indulge in my fetish and have a blast. But during my purging, I really reject this side of my personality and throw away all of my gear. How can I prevent the purges or the binging?

Answer:
Binging and Purging a nasty cycle that seems to continue forever (and often downhill). There is a lot of writing about this in bulimia nervosa-literature but you also can notice this cycle in drug-dependence and -addiction and I also have often seen it in the lives of people trying to integrate kink into their life.
Continue reading How to get your Self out of the Binge-and-Purge Cycle?

The #MeToo and #BalanceTonCochon hashtags and what we can learn from kinky men

following the #MeToo hashtag
Alyssa Milano
Alyssa Milano

Alyssa Milano’s #MeToo action shows how many women have experienced sexual transgressions in their life. And no, that’s not just a little whistling on the street. And no, that’s not innocent because that insecurity does things with a mind.
If we dare to look, we’ll see that it is normal that more women have experienced this than not … what does that mean to the women with which we live together? What does it mean for their courage to be sexually daring in this society? Their freedom to enjoy sex…And what does this all mean to us as men? What can we learn from the men who embraced kinky sex?
Continue reading The #MeToo and #BalanceTonCochon hashtags and what we can learn from kinky men

Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship

Consider your sexual polarities

Question:

kinkawarecoach_elizabeth-de-bold-com-ballet-balance
I’d like to understand the kicks of my partner… / I’d like to come out of the closet to my partner… / I’d like to converse about my kicks…
…but I don’t know where to start.
Answer:
If you see certain aspects of sexuality in their polarity you could use that as a good start for conversations such as the ones mentioned in the ‘question’.
Continue reading Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship