But… What about love in BDSM?

BDSM If we talk about a “triangle of love” in the BDSM-scene, most people think of a threesome, or of bondage-patterns over naked skin. Understandable but it kinda adds to the view that “those BDSM-kinda-people are not really capable of love” (Yes I know some relationship therapists still have this outdated view, even tho thereContinue reading “But… What about love in BDSM?”

I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?

BDSM Question: on Being a Dom(me) Hi Hans, I want a slavegirl who does what I say. How do I find a woman to submit to my every whim? And I want to give her to friends to fuck and shit. But what if she does not want to what I want, what are myContinue reading “I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?”

Negotation or agreement (in BDSM or kink-play)

BDSM & Swinging Question: I hear about negotiation all the time. What should I negotiate and what should I get from these negotiations? And how do I prevent us from talking the fun to death? Answer: Personally, I am not too fond of the use of the word “negotiation” in relationships and (BDSM)play situations. ItContinue reading “Negotation or agreement (in BDSM or kink-play)”

More about “sexual polarities”… (9 questions)

Consider your sexual polarities Question: I’ve talked about the sexual polarities before (see here*). People liked a little more explanation with this so: this time a post with a little bit more text for you to be able to get a better feel for the options in play. Of course these are just very crudeContinue reading “More about “sexual polarities”… (9 questions)”

Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship

Consider your sexual polarities Question: I’d like to understand the kicks of my partner… / I’d like to come out of the closet to my partner… / I’d like to converse about my kicks… …but I don’t know where to start. Answer: If you see certain aspects of sexuality in their polarity you could useContinue reading “Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship”

My boyfriend lets me date another… #panic!

Question: My boyfriend said that she was happy for me that I can experiment with my submissive feelings. We tried and he’s not into BDSM and we agreed that I am allowed to “find my master”… no limits… He says he is fine with that and I really really want to believe him, but itContinue reading “My boyfriend lets me date another… #panic!”

Venting or Gossiping: What’s the difference?

Sexuality This is actually a question that was part of a conversation…. But the answer to this question seems more interesting than the (rhetorical) question in itself… Question: if I talk with my sisters¬†about my partner, that helps me to get the things of my chest, right? Answer:¬†“Yo”.. (or “Nes”… meaning Yes-or-No depending on theContinue reading “Venting or Gossiping: What’s the difference?”

Now what is that “compersion” thing in #Polyamory?

(Relationship) Shizzle Question: Now what is this “compersion” thing? Answer: Compersion (or “Frubble”) is a positive loving feeling you feel towards your partner (and perhaps even toward your partners partner) when you see or hear your partner enjoying things he/she does with someone else. It is more or less the opposite of jealousy (even thoContinue reading “Now what is that “compersion” thing in #Polyamory?”