What do those beginning subbies think when they enter the scene and deliver themselves hands tied, with health and heart and soul to this Dom(me) they really know nothing about.
Actually, they don’t…
Subfrenzy is sooo sexy. It is so cute to look at and it’s so devastating, sometimes.
Subfrenzy is the frenzy on which new subbies dive into the hands of un-checked men and women, dive headfirst into the experience of sex with BDSM and want to check off everything that can be done in BDSM in a month (which does make a really busy month -without much processing time-)
Continue reading A post about Sub frenzy that is appreciated best afterward
Lately, I am on the interested in healing elements in BDSM. So I am interested in (online) conversations with people that are into BDSM and also have diagnoses like (C)PTSD, depression, autism, AD(H)D etc.etc.
(No, I am not interested in the dirty details, NO, I don’t think that BDSM-therapy is a good thing. YES I do think BDSM can be healing and I’d like to show professionals the ways in which it could be healing)
No, I am not that interested in “meanings” and “I think that’s”, I’d like to hear from people who experienced the reality of things, how did it work out in your life? What worked? What did not work?
Could I interest you into thinking about the ways that BDSM can be healing -if you do it right with the right partners-.
(and if you have diagnoses like these and you think that BDSM has nothing to do with it… please let me know too).
So, feel free read this and add your own experience to this. Mind you, this is an early start, a discussion-starter rather than a “fixed & fertig” line of reasoning. So it has a messy layout and it is just meant to get you thinking (and reacting)
I do think that as a therapist/coach we could sometimes refer more to things that happen in sex and the things they experience in their scenes people play at home, or at parties.
But then we need to think about those healing factors in BDSM/Kink beforehand as to create the most healing life-experiences. Possibilities a kinkster maybe could have that most vanillas won’t have.
Continue reading Healing aspects in BDSM
Emma and I did an AMA (Ask Me Anything) about ABDL for Bold Pleasures* which I thin is really informative to the general public. We ended up talking for one and a half hours about ABDL with Sonja to clarify things about this growing but often frowned upon fetish.
In a world where rappers are ridiculizing ABDL, while at the same time wanting to be called “Daddy” by their “little girls”, we talk like adults about ABDL… #funnyworld 🙂
Continue reading a Q&A about ABDL with Emma for Bold Pleasures
Do you think that bdsm can help through difficult emotional times in your life? How can it help me emotionally?
Questions like this always spark the discussion “is BDSM therapeutic?” and “Could there be BDSM-therapy?”
Even tho a lot of laymen would want to stand in the shadow of good old Freud, my answer is always rather pragmatic
Continue reading The “BDSM is therapeutic”-discussion
Some dude is messaging me about meeting me and wanting to get laid. I told him a real dominant doesn’t jump right into bed with someone first meet. Now he’s complaining it’s a bit of a train journey “just for a drink”. Is this in my head or am I right?
oh… first… I really do think your “a real dominant does… (or does not)” is a bit of a misconception. Continue reading Question: A real dominant doesn’t fuck on first dates, right?
How can I get myself out of this binging purging cycle where I indulge in my fetish and have a blast. But during my purging, I really reject this side of my personality and throw away all of my gear. How can I prevent the purges or the binging?
Binging and Purging a nasty cycle that seems to continue forever (and often downhill). There is a lot of writing about this in bulimia nervosa-literature but you also can notice this cycle in drug-dependence and -addiction and I also have often seen it in the lives of people trying to integrate kink into their life.
Continue reading How to get your Self out of the Binge-and-Purge Cycle?
Sunday, March 11, 2018
- 11am Pacific Time
- 2pm Eastern Time
- 7pm Greenwich Time
- 8pm Central European
We’d like you to join us for one hour of live Q&A with the boldpleasures team. For newcomers and those of you who are curious about BDSM, kink and alternative relationships.
Register at https://boldpleasures.com/ask-us-anything-live/
Your Hosts this time:
Hans: Your’s truly. He is a certified physiotherapist, psychotherapist, relationship coach and long-standing kink educator with over a quarter of a century of experience in the mental health sector and almost 40 years in BDSM
Sonja: is a co-founder of boldpleasures. She’s on a mission to remove the stigma surrounding kink. Sonja talks about first steps and how to combine kink and family life as a working submissive.
At Dominatrix Party Hans will host the “lost and found” area 😉
by offering you
“Tea with a therapist”.
individual or relationships (2, 3 or 4 people)
Continue reading Dominatrix ‘Lost and Found’
Out of the Closet?
Getting out of the closet requires courage… every time again
Not rarely, people, with or without a relationship, have trouble finding out their “other than usual sexuality.” And to me, that seems only logical in a society that is so closed-minded to its own sexuality that everything different is immediately being condemned.
I help people find their own level of opening up. Continue reading 11/10 – a closet is no place to live!