Chemsex: addiction & dependence

Sexuality Question: I hear you help people that are having problems with chemsex? Could you say more about that, please? Answer: Sure! have talked about the subject before on our ‘Kinky Talks’ (English) that I do with our fab Adalberto. We’ve talked about it in our ‘Tabootalks’ (Dutch). And I’ll talk about it on SundayContinue reading “Chemsex: addiction & dependence”

HEUTE (an art project with a cause)

Sexuality/BDSM/Fetish HEUTE enters the world disguised as PORNO STORE, a faux multimedia sex shop located in imaginary cyberspace. PORNO STORE exists only to start conversations about sex and sex workers in mind-opening ways. PORNO STORE delves into the cyber-reality of sex working in times of Covid-19, SESTA, and FOSTA while opening discussions on how to protectContinue reading “HEUTE (an art project with a cause)”

Having difficult conversations… (incl. the 5% rule)

(Relationship) conversations Having difficult talks with a positive outcome… Not an easy feature.I often give the following list to people who have to have difficult conversations in a relationship under pressure (a love relationship, a working relationship, a friendship relationship or a therapy relationship).This list is therefore also useful for coaches / therapists (not onlyContinue reading “Having difficult conversations… (incl. the 5% rule)”

Question: A real dominant doesn’t fuck on first dates, right?

BDSM/Dating Question: Some dude is messaging me about meeting me and wanting to get laid. I told him a real dominant doesn’t jump right into bed with someone first meet. Now he’s complaining it’s a bit of a train journey “just for a drink”. Is this in my head or am I right? Answer: oh…Continue reading “Question: A real dominant doesn’t fuck on first dates, right?”

How to get your Self out of the Binge-and-Purge Cycle?

General Question: How can I get myself out of this binging purging cycle where I indulge in my fetish and have a blast. But during my purging, I really reject this side of my personality and throw away all of my gear. How can I prevent the purges or the binging? Answer: Binging and PurgingContinue reading “How to get your Self out of the Binge-and-Purge Cycle?”

The #MeToo and #BalanceTonCochon hashtags and what we can learn from kinky men

following the #MeToo hashtag Alyssa Milano’s #MeToo action shows how many women have experienced sexual transgressions in their life. And no, that’s not just a little whistling on the street. And no, that’s not innocent because that insecurity does things with a mind. If we dare to look, we’ll see that it is normal that more women haveContinue reading “The #MeToo and #BalanceTonCochon hashtags and what we can learn from kinky men”

An essay on Breast Safety

Sex (hard)/BDSM Question: S asks: I do like to be treated roughly during sex and my friend and I are really into BDSM. He likes to sometimes hit my breasts and I do enjoy that very much. But it sometimes worries me, Breasts are rather tender, aren’t they? Should I be worried? Answer: “Nos” orContinue reading “An essay on Breast Safety”

The power of the submissive, the need of the Dom(me)

BDSM Question: Hans, how come that i can feel so strong after I have been submitting myself to my Dom? I don’t understand the dynamic between me, a victim of his Lust. So why do I feel strong instead of weak? What is my strength as a victim? Answer: ‘Victims’ actually have a lot ofContinue reading “The power of the submissive, the need of the Dom(me)”

I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?

BDSM Question: on Being a Dom(me) Hi Hans, I want a slavegirl who does what I say. How do I find a woman to submit to my every whim? And I want to give her to friends to fuck and shit. But what if she does not want to what I want, what are myContinue reading “I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?”

Bondage tips (The Tao of the Rope)

BDSM Question: Hans, I’d like to start with bondage… Could you give me a hand? Answer: Well… apart from giving a hand I’d better give you some safetytips and a series of youtu.be’s so you can start yourself and follow the leads Youtube gives to start surfing. I am not a ‘bondagemaster’ myself but IContinue reading “Bondage tips (The Tao of the Rope)”