More about “sexual polarities”… (9 questions)

Consider your sexual polarities

Question:

kinkawarecoach_elizabeth-de-bold-com-ballet-balance
I’ve talked about the sexual polarities before (see here*). People liked a little more explanation with this so: this time a post with a little bit more text for you to be able to get a better feel for the options in play.

Of course these are just very crude polarities, for every axis of BDSM has it’s own paradoxical aspects. I’d love to submit to you and be degraded by you but I’d totally want to be respected in doing so. I’d like to smack you and perhaps even see you cry because I really care for you and your masochism. I really want to be shackled and bound so that I won’t have any possibilities to withstand those evil sexual kicks of my partner and I am left really no other choice but enjoying them immensely 🙂
Continue reading More about “sexual polarities”… (9 questions)

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Remember to embrace the FLUFF (an acronym when talking about sexual whishes)

General Sexuality

Question:

KinkAwareCoach_SexTalkI am kinda afraid to talk to my lover about the kinky things I find hot. How do I start that conversation about my fetishes? Any ideas?

a question I got on FetBuzz*

Answer:
Embrace the F.L.U.F.F.!… And don’t even try to do this without blushing. It will be awkward and the golden rule in these situations is:

Embrace your awkwardness!

That is hard (believe me, I know!), but with practice comes virtue. And of course that doesn’t do you much good if you haven’t got that virtue yet… But dare to hope! Go for it! (your seventy year old self will hate you for not trying it!)
Remember: it might even be one of the most liberating things you ever did for yourself.
Continue reading Remember to embrace the FLUFF (an acronym when talking about sexual whishes)

My boyfriend lets me date another… #panic!

MyHeartIsStrongerQuestion: My boyfriend said that she was happy for me that I can experiment with my submissive feelings. We tried and he’s not into BDSM and we agreed that I am allowed to “find my master”… no limits… He says he is fine with that and I really really want to believe him, but it is almost unbelievable to me!
Answer: Now that is what we call “Compersion” (a.k.a. “Frubble”) and it is a scary feeling if you haven’t experienced it much in your life. Compersive feelings are positive loving feelings one can feel towards a partner (and perhaps even toward the “partner’s partner”) Continue reading My boyfriend lets me date another… #panic!

Venting or Gossiping: What’s the difference?

Sexuality

This is actually a question that was part of a conversation…. But the answer to this question seems more interesting than the (rhetorical) question in itself…

KinkAwareCoach-UndercurrentQuestion: if I talk with my sisters about my partner, that helps me to get the things of my chest, right?
Answer: “Yo”.. (or “Nes”… meaning Yes-or-No depending on the way you do it.

Yes, trying to press away emotions in your heart is probably not the best way to find emotional health.
But there is a big difference between “venting” and “gossip”. Continue reading Venting or Gossiping: What’s the difference?

Now what is that “compersion” thing in #Polyamory?

(Relationship) Shizzle

Question:
Now what is this “compersion” thing?
Answer:
Compersion (or “Frubble”) is a positive loving feeling you feel towards your partner (and perhaps even toward your partners partner) when you see or hear your partner enjoying things he/she does with someone else. It is more or less the opposite of jealousy (even tho you might sometimes feel jealousy and compersion at exactly the same time)

Compersion is enjoying giving the love by giving space.

Continue reading Now what is that “compersion” thing in #Polyamory?

Are they MAD?!! (these kinky folks)

Sex

Question:
Are they MAD, these kinky folks? Dancing in leather and rubber in the middle of the night. And fucking and beating each other and stuff…

Anonymous

Answer:
Well, actually: NO!
And that’s not just me saying that: a well performed scientific study shows it. And even better: the news is spreading. Read: even the huffingtonpost says so!
Continue reading Are they MAD?!! (these kinky folks)