An essay on Breast Safety

Sex (hard)/BDSM

Question:

S asks: I do like to be treated roughly during sex and my friend and I are really into BDSM. He likes to sometimes hit my breasts and I do enjoy that very much. But it sometimes worries me, Breasts are rather tender, aren’t they?
Should I be worried?
Answer:
“Nos” or “Yo”… 😉 both yes and no… It is true that breasts are of relatively tender material. And you can certainly destroy tissues if you handle ’em to rough. That goes for buttocks, that goes for legs and shoulders and that also goes for breasts. And it seems that repeated pointy mini-trauma (underwires of bra’s that are too small poking in the side of your breast) and does a long duration of pressure creating tissue hypoxia (push-up bras) seem to tend to up the chances of tissue proliferation a little. On the other hand, if we take a closer look at the harsh things babies do, then breast seem to be made to take a pounding. Continue reading An essay on Breast Safety

Advertisements

The power of the submissive, the need of the Dom(me)

BDSM

Question:

Hans, how come that i can feel so strong after I have been submitting myself to my Dom? I don’t understand the dynamic between me, a victim of his Lust. So why do I feel strong instead of weak? What is my strength as a victim?
Answer:
‘Victims’ actually have a lot of power. Just watch the TV. Nowadays the ‘victim’ actually has a lot of power in the media. A lot of discussions on fetlife are about people who got victimised in a BDSM-relationship. And that raises shit-storms, sometimes without knowing what really happened. It happens, for shure (and don’t let that happen to you). And Dom(me)s get abused too, or depleted of energy. And often the one presenting like a victim gets the most attention… Often correct… sometimes it’s just the power of a victim.
Continue reading The power of the submissive, the need of the Dom(me)

Bondage tips (The Tao of the Rope)

BDSM

Question:

kinkawarecoach_bondage-cvHans, I’d like to start with bondage… Could you give me a hand?
Answer:
Well… apart from giving a hand I’d better give you some safetytips and a series of youtu.be’s so you can start yourself and follow the leads Youtube gives to start surfing. I am not a ‘bondagemaster’ myself but I would like people to play safely so I can give you at least an idea and a direction to surf. And of course these leads are completely arbitrary and if you have tips for great additions: let me know.


My personal bondage tips are (the Tao of the Rope): Continue reading Bondage tips (The Tao of the Rope)

Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship

Consider your sexual polarities

Question:

kinkawarecoach_elizabeth-de-bold-com-ballet-balance
I’d like to understand the kicks of my partner… / I’d like to come out of the closet to my partner… / I’d like to converse about my kicks…
…but I don’t know where to start.
Answer:
If you see certain aspects of sexuality in their polarity you could use that as a good start for conversations such as the ones mentioned in the ‘question’.
Continue reading Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship

What’s in my oh so Domly first Aid kit? (apart from chocolate)

NurseYes, I would advice anyone that is into a bit of heavier play to have a redcross (or lighter version) of first aid knowledge. No really, how hard is that and it could save lives.
Also you could (next to this lighthearted version) have a serious look at a home-family First Aid-kit


Now what could ( I am not saying “should” ’cause I know your allergic reactions to that word) be in your private Kit? Continue reading What’s in my oh so Domly first Aid kit? (apart from chocolate)

About Sex and GHB and XTC … and about dependency perhabs?

About Sex and GHB and ecstasy … and dependency

Kink Aware Coach Lady Parts Question: ” Dear Hans,
My problem is that I have difficulty letting go of my “inhibitions”. Because of this I’m hardly ever excited, I’ve never came and I almost never really want sex. But there was one time where it’s been different: when I was using XTC. After the pill hit me I knew exactly what I wanted in terms of sex and I even showed that to my friend. I know it’s not the right way: using drugs regularly for sex, but I long for that feeling again.
Can you tell me how I can experiment with GHB and/or XTC? And whether this can help me with the inhibitions which I have and/or the control-issues that I can not let go?”
Sincerely, E.

Answer: Continue reading About Sex and GHB and XTC … and about dependency perhabs?

The risk of choking or swallowing your panties or briefs in bondage?

BDSM/Sex Tip

Miley-Cyrus-shoves-another-fans-panties-in-her-mouthQuestion:
I sometimes see movies with tape on the mouth or bondage over the mouth and often first something is introduced in the mouth, usually certain garments 😉 But isn’t this a bit dangerous?

? Bob

Answer:
Of course you need to be careful when you put something in someone’s mouth and of course you must keep an eye on the breath continually. And of course you’ll need to constantly stay closeby (you yourself or someone you trust with your life -literately-) in case something goes wrong. Continue reading The risk of choking or swallowing your panties or briefs in bondage?

-a slap in the face is… fun?

Sex

Question:
Is it fun to be hit in the face?

Max Landis

Answer:

You bet ya!
On youtube you get to see Max Landis filming people hitting each other in the face for the first time…

Pro tips:
…remember to take of glasses and rings
…and do not hit each other on the ears to hard (do eardrums ring a bell?)

A-spot (what the f… is an ~)

Sex (tips)

De A-plek is een (nog vrij kort geleden ‘ontdekt’) lekker plekje bij de vrouw. Er zijn vrouwen (zeker niet iedereen) die claimen dat zij een zogenaamd ‘vaginaal orgsasme’ kunnen krijgen tijden het neuken door deze plek voldoende te stimuleren. (maak daar nou niet een nieuwe race van bij het vrijen maar kijk eens of jij mogelijk bij die groep hoort)
Continue reading A-spot (what the f… is an ~)

-G-spot (hoe vind ik de ~)

Sex (tips)

De G-plek is alweer een poosje terug ‘ontdekt’. Een lekker plekje bij de vrouw waar je eens naar op zoek kunt gaan als je een feestje bouwt. Er zijn vrouwen (zeker niet iedereen) die claimen dat zij een ‘vaginaal orgasme’ kunnen krijgen als deze plek voldoende stevig gestimuleerd wordt bij het vrijen.
Een wat steviger stimulatie is meestal wel wenselijk, dus het moet je ding zijn.Zo vind je de G-plek: Continue reading -G-spot (hoe vind ik de ~)