Negotation or agreement? (in BDSM or swinging)

Sexuality/BDSM Question:I hear about negotiation all the time. What should I negotiate and what should I get from these negotiations? And how do I prevent us from talking fun to death?Answer:Personally, I am not too fond of the use of the word “negotiation” in relationships and (BDSM)play situations. It is very often promoted as theContinue reading “Negotation or agreement? (in BDSM or swinging)”

BDSM/Fetish – infatuation

BDSM/Fetish Question: My partner opened our relationship to give me room to explore my BDSM-feelings. And I have met my D-type last month and now I am seriously doubting wether to continue my vanilla relationship? Answer: Being ‘in looove‘ is a wonderful feeling. It is a strong feeling, not to be messed with, and itContinue reading “BDSM/Fetish – infatuation”

Having difficult conversations… (incl. the 5% rule)

(Relationship) conversations Having difficult talks with a positive outcome… Not an easy feature.I often give the following list to people who have to have difficult conversations in a relationship under pressure (a love relationship, a working relationship, a friendship relationship or a therapy relationship).This list is therefore also useful for coaches / therapists (not onlyContinue reading “Having difficult conversations… (incl. the 5% rule)”

Relationships end because of… a lack in flexibility

General Question: Can polyamorous relationships last or does polyamory end relationships over time? Answer: The short answer sounds a bit depressing but please do read on, because it is actually really hopeful. The short answer is: Relationships don’t last! They just don’t. Monogamous relationships don’t. Polyamorous relationships don’t. please read on…

Am I a sex-addict?

(Relationship) Shizzle Question: It’s been more than two weeks since I have had sex and now I am literally going stir crazy. I can’t sleep and I can’t stop wanting sex really bad. I am out of town for work and I honestly want to be faithful to my boy. I have been masturbating, butContinue reading “Am I a sex-addict?”

Now what is that “compersion” thing in #Polyamory?

(Relationship) Shizzle Question: Now what is this “compersion” thing? Answer: Compersion (or “Frubble”) is a positive loving feeling you feel towards your partner (and perhaps even toward your partners partner) when you see or hear your partner enjoying things he/she does with someone else. It is more or less the opposite of jealousy (even thoContinue reading “Now what is that “compersion” thing in #Polyamory?”

Are there Daddies who do have control

Relationship-Shizzle Question: Just out of curiosity and frustration… Are there any Daddies who do have actually control of their own lives, their emotions, and have stability in their established relationships? I know complete utter control every second of every day is impossible, but… I’m starting to lose faith that true Daddies and true Doms evenContinue reading “Are there Daddies who do have control”

“NRE” (New Relationship Energy) …wat is dat?

woorden… (talk about sex) Question: “NRE” …wat is dat? basics Answer: NRE (New Relationship Energy) Het prettige gevoel van spanning, erotische lading (verliefdheid) dat nou eenmaal verbonden is met de start van iedere nieuwe romantische relatie. Een dergelijke ‘verliefdheid’ (hoewel sommige mensen niet graag die term gebruiken -soms omdat het voor sommige mensen bedreigend voeltContinue reading ““NRE” (New Relationship Energy) …wat is dat?”