I can’t go to a Kinky Club with THIS body!!!

Fetish Question:Let’s be clear. For a lot of people, it is a really healing experience to go out to a kinky club or a fetish club for a night of debauchery and fun. Where people like you would have enjoyed your (MFX) ‘dad-bod’ tummy, your kind smile, your hands, your long skinny legs and your

Negotation or agreement? (in BDSM or swinging)

Sexuality/BDSM Question:I hear about negotiation all the time. What should I negotiate and what should I get from these negotiations? And how do I prevent us from talking fun to death?Answer:Personally, I am not too fond of the use of the word “negotiation” in relationships and (BDSM)play situations. It is very often promoted as the

What goes wrong in Chemsex treatments? -03-

Sexuality/Drugs Let’s talk about the ‘drug’-aspects of “chemsex” problems?Not so much the “what and how” -that is food for other posts- but more the “why?”

Kink has always been political and has always had political consequences

Let me be clear: black lives matter to me. And there is no “but” following that statement. Being a white old fart myself, black lives matter to me and that is exactly why I am worried about the conversations I read on facebook where people from the “Black lives matter” movement are turning more and

More about “sexual polarities”… (9 questions)

Consider your sexual polarities Question: I’ve talked about the sexual polarities before (see here*). People liked a little more explanation with this so: this time a post with a little bit more text for you to be able to get a better feel for the options in play. Of course these are just very crude

About Sex and GHB and XTC … and about dependency perhabs?

About Sex and GHB and ecstasy … and dependency Question: ” Dear Hans, My problem is that I have difficulty letting go of my “inhibitions”. Because of this I’m hardly ever excited, I’ve never came and I almost never really want sex. But there was one time where it’s been different: when I was using

Adult parties: let’s talk sense

Lets talk about adult party-life. Not just the hype, not only the fun part but also the serious shit. 1999 is long gone. It’s time to be responsible adults and party. For a lot of people adult parties are a regular part of their life. But we tend to hush and shut up about it.

“Incel”

words… (talk about sex) Question: “incel” …wat is that? relaties Answer: involuntary celibacy The term “involuntary celibacy”, means that someone is living in celibacy, not out of belief or because someone wants it but because somebody doesn’t know how to initiate sex in his/her life.