Negotation or agreement? (in BDSM or swinging)

Sexuality/BDSM Question:I hear about negotiation all the time. What should I negotiate and what should I get from these negotiations? And how do I prevent us from talking fun to death?Answer:Personally, I am not too fond of the use of the word “negotiation” in relationships and (BDSM)play situations. It is very often promoted as theContinue reading “Negotation or agreement? (in BDSM or swinging)”

How Do I Find a Dominant Partner (in a Good Way)?

BDSM Question: “Hans, I am a hetero guy, aware of my submissive BDSM-feelings. What would be the best way to find a nice play-partner who has dominant feelings? I do encounter people online -and before corona, I went to a club once-, but I never took the step to ask a Domme/Mistress if she wouldContinue reading “How Do I Find a Dominant Partner (in a Good Way)?”

Female sex and the duality within BDSM

Sexuality/BDSM Why BDSM?In a society where on the one hand we try to sell everything with sex and on the other hand, we try to deny our sexuality, especially the female sexuality, it is not really surprising that reading material such as “fifty shades” gets so popular so suddenly. Materialism (real Dominants have their ownContinue reading “Female sex and the duality within BDSM”

The power of the submissive, the need of the Dom(me)

BDSM Question: Hans, how come that i can feel so strong after I have been submitting myself to my Dom? I don’t understand the dynamic between me, a victim of his Lust. So why do I feel strong instead of weak? What is my strength as a victim? Answer: ‘Victims’ actually have a lot ofContinue reading “The power of the submissive, the need of the Dom(me)”

I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?

BDSM Question: on Being a Dom(me) Hi Hans, I want a slavegirl who does what I say. How do I find a woman to submit to my every whim? And I want to give her to friends to fuck and shit. But what if she does not want to what I want, what are myContinue reading “I want to have my own slavegirl… what are my rights?”

Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship

Consider your sexual polarities Question: I’d like to understand the kicks of my partner… / I’d like to come out of the closet to my partner… / I’d like to converse about my kicks… …but I don’t know where to start. Answer: If you see certain aspects of sexuality in their polarity you could useContinue reading “Sexual polarities to understand the Kinks of your relationship”